TitanFall’s Respawn Entertainment – Shut up and give us money!

In a somewhat bitter rejoinder to fans’ concerns over the limitations of the 6v6 TitanFall multiplayer maps, Respawn Entertainment have outlined not just their concerns, but also a startling amount of vitriol toward the people they want money from, and also indications of coronary heart disease.

Calling  the earlier information given by their very own Vince Zamprella:

 “something as insignificant as a number in a vacuum” 

was enough to send our eyebrows off through the stratosphere to explore strange new planets, but just in case, ‘DKo5’ goes on to state that a number of player counts were tested, from:

“all the way down to 1v1 and up quite high”

which is, we have been assured by our on-site ‘numberician’, ‘quite high’.  Well, that’s us sated.  Thanks, bro.

Possibly the most startling comment came a little later, when he explains that:

“I literally have to stop playing every few rounds because my heart just can’t take it some times.”

which tells us that either he is battling some terrible illness and should seek immediate help, or that Respawn Entertainment have developed a game that can ‘literally’ instil all the excitement and trepidation of reading the ‘extreme side effects’ section of a box of sleeping aids.

well, at least the robots still look cool. Kind of.

Finally, even though we would have recommended he sit down, take some oxygen and think about calm blue waves for a while until the tingling in his left arm stopped, he decided to end on a high note, showing his own passive-aggressive support for a game he had a hand in designing.  To us, this seems a little bit too much like a a stand-up comedian cocking a shotgun, waving it wildly at the audience, and telling them how funny he is.

“Can’t wait! Only a couple months until speculative threads like this are gone and people are actually talking about their experiences with the game.”

And though it’s true that the speculative threads will be gone, what with the nature of speculation rarely occurring after the event has happened, we can’t help but wonder if player’s experiences with the game take a backseat to player’s remembrance of “that dev that made a complete prick of himself on the NEOGAF forums a little while ago”.


5 thoughts on “TitanFall’s Respawn Entertainment – Shut up and give us money!

  1. I really hope you don’t think the develop comment taints the game in any way. People will play the game and judge for themselves, not because of some developer comment way back when (which I found not one bit offensive). You’re reading way too much into this.

    • It should go without saying that one developer comment doesn’t really effect the game at all. It’s just a shame that they didn’t let their PR department handle it, instead of handing off public relations to a jittery, over-worked dev whose posts reads like an angry 4chan /v/ comment.

      The only thing we can actually read into it at this stage is that the devs are making excuses, which in most gamers’ experience is not a good sign, but we’ll have to wait for the game to come out before making a final judgement.

    • Hey, user1! Thanks, that is some good advice. Thus, we won’t read into it, we’ll read… out of… it? Also, are you familiar with sarcasm? We love you! You are our user1 Waifu!

  2. What a great, humorous, and perhaps factually correct post! Wow, I don’t think I’ll be getting the game considering the way the industry almost always oversells poor games. In that respect, it’s exactly like the movie industry.

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