Just over a week after the release of the XBox One, gamers have been scouring Ebay for the latest big release to hit the digital shelves. Faded, grimy pictures of the XBox One.
Thanks to a recent spate of Ebay scammers recently raising the bar on what rubbish they can sell to people for nearly half a thousand pounds, knackered old pictures of the next-gen console can now be purchased on Ebay for only £450. These pictures come with none of the hardware problems of the original, and setting up the product is now easier than ever. By simply laying it on any flat surface, or taping it to the wall (no need for expensive wall-mounted brackets), gamers can enjoy all the thrills and spills of owning a manky piece of paper with a shitty rendering of the XBone box:
One unhappy customer, Peter Clatworthy from Nottingham, was expecting to receive a brand new, shiny XBone in the post, a surprise present for his four year old son, and instead received this faded, poorly-taken photograph of the console, complete with what appear to be semen and tea stains:
Speaking of the slip-up, Mr Clatworthy commented:
“It said ‘photo’ and I was in two minds, but I looked at the description and the fact it was in the right category made me think it was genuine…I’ve had to make a joke out of it because I was that angry. At least we’ve now got something to laugh about in the years to come.”
Because in Nottingham, you find a joke wherever you can, and grab hold of it for as long as you can.
No doubt after attempting to “play” the photograph and finding that there wasn’t even a place for the discs to fit, Peter contacted Ebay, and at the time of writing has been promised a full refund on the item. A cursory glance of Ebay shows items like this still available for sale, however, promising (if you look closely) a “photo brand new” of the item, which clearly sets them aside from any people who wished to purchase the actual console.
However, not everyone is unhappy with their purchase. Gloria Wankfiddle, a fictional Systems Analyst from Stockton-on-Trent writes:
“My picture of the Xbox One is great. The kids and I have had hours of fun imagining that we’re playing ‘Ryse: Son of Rome’ on it, and my husband can still watch the television while we pretend to play. It hasn’t overheated once yet, though it has yellowed a little bit around the edges. Still, there are teething problems with all new technologies, aren’t there?”
She also added that while lack of actual functionality is an issue, the system will soon become rare when Ebay finally dredges all the cheeky little scam-sellers off the site.
However, it is hoped that the scammers will soon release a few pictures of games that owners of the fake system can press against the photograph while making whirring noises while they pretend to go through the system installation process. Stay tuned to WASDuk for more news on this exciting new console!