With shits like Uwe Boll making terrible films out of popular games with tons of potential, one sometimes needs to pause and consider what she or he would like to see on the silver-screen. Thus, we do not want to WASD… your time. We want to steal it, write a manuscript based on it, edit it, and then drag it into pre-production before it takes the world by storm!
Samus Aran was critical to gaming history. Not only was she a defining female protagonist but she also represented a franchise that was a decidedly more difficult and darker take on Super Mario Bros and The Legend of Zelda, which were the two games the series sought to mix.
In a best case scenario, Metroid would be directed by James Cameron and summon the eerie paranoia of Aliens. Remember that Samus is a bounty hunter stalking the most vile and feared organism in the universe. Cameron would have to recreate either the look of or the attitude of the Metroids, as they are essentially jelly-fish in space. In addition, Samus’s suit could mechanically transform into a ball to give her access to small cave-like expanses. Imagine a plethora of alien species all possessed by the Metroids that are hunting the hunter and the idea behind a live-action film becomes very tempting.
A worst case scenario is the fact that after Aliens took the sci-fi world by the throat, nobody else could top Cameron’s vision. Films like AVP tarnished the reputation of all Alien related movies. Thus, it would take an inspired team to bring this to life. But, doesn’t it always?
Joust offers an alternate reality where a lone-warrior rides a large ostrich-like creature into battle. His goal is to kill everyone else, but this is not so easy, as everyone else is riding dragons. Furthermore, the ground around our hero slowly disintegrates, lava is consuming everything, and if any of the warriors venture too close to the lava, then giant worms spring up to make them dinner.
Hopefully, our greatest fear of Uwe Boll reading this article, running to his garage to check if he has rope, him realizing he DOES have rope, and filming an initial ostrich against dragon fight with his scuba suits as outfits won’t happen. Yes, Uwe, we do not, as you remind everyone, get it. We are out of touch.
However, in the right hands the flying fights and the background behind the all out war-sport could be reformatted into an enthralling yet bleak reality. How does one train these dragons and birds? Such questions would be a thrilling answer on the big screen.
8) Chrono Trigger
Disney/Marvel and Sony are about to put the Avengers and the X-Men through epic struggles that involve time-travelling and multiple versions of Earth. Chrono Trigger (from Square Enix) also uses these facets. In the game, players can travel to prehistoric Earth as well as to the year infinity, which represents the end of time. In each time period, players can gain allies or fight against prehistoric monsters as well as futuristic robots.
What could go wrong?
When Square Enix headlined Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within into theaters, the result was a high opening weekend. After the huge opening, box office sales plummeted and the industry realized that Square Enix’s financial muscles may only stretch as far as their loyal fans. As a result, Chrono Trigger may be a hard sell. Even Disney with its Kingdom Hearts success (the result of Disney and Square Enix joining forces) may hesitate to bring another time-travelling epic with aliens to the screen due to the albatross of a failure that John Carter of Mars was. But, wasn’t Chrono Trigger a better choice than John Carter in the first place? The world may never know.
7) Cat Planet
A planet of cats and angels! Imagine it and the ensuing Call of Duty: Food Chain game that would scrap the dogs and claim that the Green Berets use highly trained felines instead. Let’s take it a step further and just proclaim dogs as the Nazi’s of the animal kingdom. “Red Baron, do you see that wolf? Release the lion- THE STEALTH LION!”
If you haven’t discovered the free Indie game yet, then let us explain it as simply as it is. An angel flies around a planet and rescues cats. There are also evil Thorns that need to be avoided. 2/3’s of WASDUK is really rooting for this game as it would have to be pure and utter-cheese in the vein of Barbella meets Flash Gordon meets Toy Story. It was suggested in a top-secret WASDUK meeting that the lads of One Direction would play the Thorns. Nay, they will. Oh, yes. They will!
6) Altered Beast
Do not be fooled by the 2D graphics from 1988, my cursed minions! Altered Beasts was quite difficult.
The setting only highlights what would make for a 300-style battle in the underworld. Hopefully, those behind the horrid, flat remake and consequent sequel to Clash of the Titans would not be involved. We say the ladder because Altered Beast takes place in Ancient Greece. The main protagonist is a slain centurion who is resurrected by Zeus. Zeus needs a hero to rescue his kidnapped daughter, Athena from the evils of the demon god Neff as well as its hordes from hell. Thus, our hero is given the ability to transform into beasts. On one level he is a werewolf, on another he is a dragon, and he can even change into a bear.
This description may also summon visions of the upcoming I, Frankenstein and its Underworld predecessors but, perhaps, studios could pry Zach Snyder away to give some semblance to its bizarre tale.
5) Ghosts N’ Goblins
The characters of Arthur and his demonic rivals have been kept fresh by appearances in the Marvel vs Capcom franchise. With the surprise hits of Sleepy Hollow this year as well as the classic archetype that pits man against the devil, the idea of one of the universe’s most difficult games is very feasible.
Furthermore, the story behind Ghosts N’ Goblins finds Arthur and Guinevere getting it on in a secluded garden. Suddenly, one of Satan’s minions appears and kidnaps her. Arthur throws on his armor (he was wearing only his boxers) and battles ogres, zombies, and even dragons to rescue his love. Thus, the situation that prompts the game, in addition to when players completed the game it was revealed to all be a trick by Satan before the game simply started over, make for a fantastic blend of humor and horror.
It would be great to see this refashioned into an Army of Darkness style romp. Of course, Arthur couldn’t have a chainsaw hand like Ash, but thinking of Arthur losing his lover while he struggles to assemble his armor quickly would be priceless schlock of the highest caliber!
The main character of Darksiders is War, who is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. How great would it be to see an anti-hero of this breed fighting demons, angels and humans?
The plot does get a tad muddled at times with overlapping entities that seem to be responsible for monitoring each other, but the gold is when War awakens on Earth to find that the demons have won. The humans and angels were unprepared, and only a small resistance force, called the Hellguard, led by the angel Uriel stand against them.
A small band of resistance fighters going up against an insurmountable evil? DID WE JUST DISCOVER THE NEXT LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY AND BECOME BEST FRIENDS?! YEP!
3) Injustice: Gods Among Us
Look, the debate about Ben Affleck as Batman will rage until everyone watches him perform. Also, DC is playing some reboot cards to introduce the Justice League to the world again. The latest DC animated flick will show the origins of the Justice League, and the founding members, like Superman and Green Lantern, are all in their Injustice skins.
Superman is still young and developing in his new cinematic persona, but he is going to be introduced to Batman and Lex Luthor in his next film, and whether or not other heroes and villains will show up is unknown. The eventual Justice League film needs a template, and as far as we know that should be the live-action version of Watchmen.
However, the story arc within the Injustice comics and game, where the Joker dupes Superman into killing Lois Lane, is stronger than the plot and pacing of the Watchmen film. Fans are familiar with the set-up and the story involves a large host of Justice League characters as well as villains from all walks of the DC universe, like the Yellow Lanterns and the zombie-like Solomon Grundy. Does Ryan Reynolds need to be in it? No. No, he does not.
In these troubling times, it may be comforting to know that there is another world out there that is worse off than ours. Oddworld is roughly five times the size of Earth, but it is mostly composed of dry, arid land. Even though there is much more available land to live on than on Earth, the inhabitants are not doing very well.
What transpires in the first game-installment involves accusations of hypocrisy towards one species that are actually at complete peace with nature, a corporate plot to make food out of another slave-species because resources are dwindling, and the never ending hunt for justice, cover-ups and the truth.
Last, only about 2/5 of the Oddworld planet has been explored in the games. Therefore, directors and producers willing to be creative and explore the unknown would thrive with such opportunities. Past efforts have been made to bring Oddworld to the screen, but the efforts were fruitless. Let’s get our act together people! Oddworld is loaded with tent-pole status and potential.
In many circles, Fable is considered the greatest RPG of all time. What makes this game top our charts is that a character who thinks he or she may be doing the right thing could end up growing horns and a tail as he or she transform into a monster. Every action in Fable alters one’s appearance, and the outcomes of the character’s good intentions are not always justified and rewarding.
Imagine a director like Guillermo Del Toro revisiting the creative inspiration behind Pan’s Labyrinth and the cinema could be blessed with one of the most dynamic leading characters in recent memory. Will it ever happen? It could be one hell of a beautifully horrible vision to behold.